Time Wasters:What Holiday Are You?

Major holidays are coming up but apparently your personality type can make you a particular holiday. So... because I love my darling readers, AND I know a lot of you are reading me instead of working (you know who you are), I present to you, your time waster for today: What Holiday Are You?

You Are Easter

You are an optimistic, hopeful, and genuinely sweet person. Sensitive and affectionate, you are easily touched. You love nature, animals, and anything cute or cuddly. For you, every day is a new chance - no matter what happened yesterday. What makes you celebrate: Almost anything. You love most holidays and celebrations. At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The peacemaker. You can prevent any squabbles that might break out. On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Remember to include everyone

What Holiday Are You?

Easter to me is sort of a anti-holiday, not much seems to go on BUT the description of me is frighteningly accurate. What will it say about you?

Always A White Christmas In Colorado

Christmas is coming up pretty quickly. Whether you're thinking of your own holiday traditions such as tree trimming or Christmas card writing, or you're part of the "Day of Buying Nothing" crowd; you're certainly aware that there are very few days to the big event.

As a child I watched the classic holiday movies such as “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “Miracle on 34th Street” and “A Christmas Carol” and there was always lots of crisp, white snow in these films; in fact snow seemed to be the benchmark of the Christmas season. I was a kid living in sunny, Southern California and those Christmas films were as close to snow as I could get.

I was born on the east coast, but left at an extremely young age, so no snow there, but my dear friend from high school, Tracy* married a man, had a child and bought some Colorado real estate and you can best believe there’s lots of snow there.

At Tracy’s home in Colorado, Christmas looks just like the films I saw as a child, the beautiful, big homes are decorated with twinkly lights, the snow is deep and perfect for making snow angels, the air is crisp and visible. After a tough day of snowball fighting you can’t wait to get inside to get a nice, cup of hot cocoa and some sugar cookies.

If you’re very good and you listen closely, you can hear the bells that tinkle as an angel gets its wings!

*names changed

Sunday Scribblings: Misspent Youth? Hmmm...

Star Trek along with it's many variations; Star Trek, The Next Generation, Voyager, Deep Space Nine, Enterprise, are among some of my favorite TV shows.

In an episode of Star Trek, The Next Generation, called "Parallels" one of the characters is caught in a space-time continuum which causes him to bounce continually between alternate realities. In various realities he's married to a colleague, working with enemies, promoted; events that haven't happened in his primary reality. The episode really poses the question, "what if?"

This week's prompt for Sunday Scribblings is "Misspent Youth" and it caused me to ruminate over my youth from the vantage point of "what if?"

-At 15 I tried out for cheerleader and didn't make it...but what if I had?
-At 16, I went to prom with a date "found" for me ...but what if I'd stayed home?
-At 17, I didn't apply to the Ivy League school I'd considered, opting to go to a UC...but what if I had applied?
-At 22, I sent my best friend to apply to be a bunny at the Playboy Club and didn't apply as well...but what if I had?

When I think of things I didn't do, paths I didn't take, opportunities I missed or was too frightened of success to pursue, I do think: what if? Are there realities where I've done those things, am doing those things? Am I a high powered executive, a mother, a nun, a race car driver? Do I travel extensively? Am I photographed constantly? Do I retreat to the silence several times a year? Do I live in a foreign country? Do I go into space?

Different paths could have taken me to different places; could have caused me to be a different person from who I am, and I don't think I'd like that.

So when I think of my youth, I don't think it was misspent; it was spent exactly as it was meant to be.

This post was done as part of the Sunday Scribblings

Don't Know Nothing About Harry Potter

My dear friend Tricia* has two sons aged 11 and 13. James*, Tricia's eldest, is a sensitive, creative boy who has the face of an angel and a dry wit.

James and I began a conversation about Harry Potter, which I've never read, and he tried to discuss it without giving away what he considered to be pertinent points in Harry's story. James looked at me from beneath impossibly long eyelashes and said: "I highly recommend them, and you have to read them in order...or else you get nothing!"

I thought that was so funny, he was extremely serious when he said it though. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm the type who reads the ends of stories first!

So in deference to my young friend, James and not to silly old Spiff, who tagged me on this quiz/meme I give you the results of which Hogwarts house I'll be moving into. I wonder if I can bring SO and PD?

*names changed

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

The "Joys" Of Pet Motherhood

PD has been my fur daughter for a couple of weeks now and boy, am I having growing pains!

When I was 20-years-old I purchased my first car, a shiny, new red, stick shift. I went with a friend; we knew nothing about negotiating and just said "ok" when told the price. I signed all the paperwork and got ready to take my new car home except there was one small problem: I couldn't drive a stick shift. My friend drove the car off the lot for me and promptly took me to a big parking lot for my first lesson.

After I completed a couple of parking lot turns I was pretty much on my own, with a car payment and a car I couldn't really drive. The car was parked in my mother's driveway and every day I would go out and screech, lurch, and stall my way down the street as I taught myself to drive. It got to the point that I would literally get a headache whenever I looked at that car. I feel much the same energy when I interact with PD.

I haven't owned a dog since I was a teen; I didn't have to do anything but love my dog Floyd. PD must rely on SO and I for everything and that can be an overwhelming responsibility; especially when I am a perfectionist with no patience for the learning curve. I have yet to experience the "joys" of pet motherhood. I want her to be a Perfect Dog, and if she isn't I want to know by osmosis how to extract that behavior from her. I am constantly thinking I'm doing it wrong and that does not feel good at all.

Country Music

If you know anything about me, you know that my music tastes are nothing if not eclectic. I am a 49-year-old African American woman who likes all kinds of music. Really. Riding in a car with me can be annoying because I have no allegiance to any particular radio station; I hear one song I like and then switch stations until I hear another song I like.

So...even though I have been known to fire up You Tube, and listen to just about anything I stand before you ready to make a huge confession: I like Country Music.

It's really indicative of advancing age that I can admit it. I just don't give a rip. When I was younger, you could light hot matches and stick them under my fingernails before I'd admit to liking country music; there was just no "street cred" to that type of music. So sad, so twangy, so "my truck broke down" and "she done me wrong"-yecch!

When I was in college I worked as a cocktail waitress. One of the bars I worked in had a jukebox stocked with country music- a lot of country music. For hours I'd hear Hank Williams Jr., David Allen Coe, and Alabama and after a while I knew all the words to all the songs. A little while later I was singing the words to those songs...not always at work. I don't think you've lived until you've heard me warbling, "why don't you ever call me by na-a-ame?" at the top of my voice.

Well hell, now I'll admit my liking for some country music. I'm no "Redneck Woman" but I love Gretchen Wilson's song, Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" is a ditty that is just too easy to sing along with, and Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying" really ought to be the national anthem.

I'm A New Mother, I Need The Money!

In September I found out what my blog was worth and that was pretty heady stuff. I was a brand new blogger and the amount was incredible to me. Well now that I'm a whole three months old, the blogging world is my oyster and here's what it's worth now-

My blog is worth $47,421.36.
How much is your blog worth?

Here's what I'd like to say now: SHOW ME THE MONEY! There's a saying that goes: "Every man has his price" and I think $47,421.36 could be mine.

So if you were wondering if you could buy this blog, the answer is: "let's talk". I am a new mother and I could use the money!

I'm A Fur Mom!

As my wonderful readers know I've been ruminating about becoming a fur parent for a while now. I'd like to introduce you to my new baby.
As she is in Witness Protection she will be known in my blog as PD (perfect dog).

Since she's been here, my life has become pretty different; walks, picking up poop, feeding schedules, holding her like a baby, laughing at her perpetual snarl (she has an under bite).

I used to be able to just do what I want but I'm not that girl anymore.

The Pairs Meme

So I was sitting around thinking; "gee I'd really like to do a meme" and here comes my friend Jean from A Great Pleasure to the rescue. Thanks Jean! This is the Two Things meme.

Two names you go by:
Menopauseprincess
MP
Two things you are wearing right now:
Horns like Flava Flav
The Hope Diamond

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
Couldn't just stop at two, but I've got them in my SO

Two things you like to do:
Count my millions
Admire my awesome beauty

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
Time to count my millions and admire my awesome beauty

Two things you did last night:
Do I really have to say?

Two things you ate today:
Bridge mix
Barbecue chicken pizza

Two people you last talked to:
SO
PD

Two things you’re doing tomorrow:
Taking my new fur daughter for a walk and,
Picking up her poop


2 Favorite days of the week:
Friday
Saturday

Two favorite holidays:
My birthday
SO's birthday

Two favorite beverages:
Ice Blended Mocha
Apple Martini

Two things about me! Things you may not have known:
I was in a Richard Simmons Video
I was in Bye Bye Birdie in High School

Two jobs I have had in my life:
Restaurant Manager
Worked on Love Connection

Two movies I would watch over and over:
The Big Chill
Soldier's Girl

Two places I have lived:
La Jolla
New York

Two of my favorite foods:
Chocolate Cake
Pizza

Two places I’d rather be right now:
Anywhere as long as there's a spa and room service.

You only have to tag two people on this meme so what two victims uh, I mean blog buddies, can I tag?
How about Spiff and Lisa C.!

Love In The 2000's

Ah the 80's, that was my time! I could and would dance for hours at a time, wore short skirts and low cut clothing with nary a second thought, and stay out all night then go to work. Yes, I was the quintessential party girl!

I dated a lot in those days (long before SO) and there was no such thing as internet dating; in those days there were personal ads in the newspaper. These ads were answered by letter, what we now call snail mail, and the creativity of some of these letters was amazing. Some people wrote poems, some sent cartoons; anything to make their letter stand out from the rest.

I have been happily attached for awhile now, but if I were still single I would have no qualms about internet dating. It seems to me a viable way to meet someone special. I do have some single friends who are wanting a relationship and I always ask if they've tried online. I would not send my friends to any of those dating sites where you answer an incredible number of questions and then for some unknown reason are rejected! Phooey on that!

Love in the 2000's is different and high tech. These days people are searching for something exciting, something that will give them value and that can be found at Flirtvibes.com. Flirtvibes.com is a free dating site; did you hear me? I said free. The site is easy to navigate so you can accomplish your dating goals without spending a lot of time trying to figure out what's going on. Once you register you can start connecting with people all over the world; check out profiles, view pictures, send messages, enter chat rooms. It can be a whole new world, maybe one that contains someone special!

www.FlirtVibes.com

How To Find The Right Dog

An Oasis In The Blogging For Money Desert--Smorty

A little while ago, October actually, I wrote a post admitting that I would like to find a way to get paid for blogging. In that post I related my frustration at having to wait until my blog was three months old before I could begin monetizing it. I have been doing my homework while waiting my magical three-month-old birthday which happened a couple of days ago.

The results of my research have been interesting; I discovered many different opportunities but there was always some weird element; takes forever to pay, has to go through a rigorous approval process; it was getting pretty dismal. I don’t know about you, but when mama wants a new pair of shoes, she doesn’t want to wait two months to get the money for them!

And there, like an oasis in the blogging-for-money desert, was Smorty. Smorty is wonderful, and all the cool kids are signing up. Smorty is a service that allows you to make money from your blog by writing reviews of various services and websites. You can select the campaigns you want to write for. Since my tagline is “putting my two cents in and I’ve got change for everybody” this seemed like the perfect match for me.

Here’s the Smorty process:

1. Sign up with Smorty
2. Submit your blog for approval (takes about 72 hours).
3. After approval, select from the available advertising campaigns.
4. You'll have 3 days to write your review.
5. Submit it, and if it’s approved
6. GET PAID FOR BLOGGING!!!

Smorty pays via Pay Pal so you’ll need to have a Pay Pal account, and the very best part is: they pay weekly! Oooh, I’m even closer to that new pair of shoes!

www.smorty.com

Puppy Love

While reading Nessa's post about her 8-year-old son's Secret Love, I thought of an amusing story of "puppy love" from my childhood. I was in first grade and a mature and determined 6-year-old.

I can't quite remember when I first saw Ricky*; it could have been out on the playground, it could have been during reading but most likely it was during math. I never liked math so I didn't pay much attention to the scratches of the chalk on the blackboard or the droning of the nun's voice. This could have been the time when my eyes roamed the expanse of classroom and settled on something a lot more interesting...Ricky.

Oh honey let me tell you, to my 6-year-old eyes he was sooooo cute! He was taller than the other boys with curly black hair, dark eyes, and cafe au lait skin. I was smitten, and determined that he would be mine! I'm not sure I knew what that meant, but whatever it meant that's what I wanted. I hatched a plan, my little feminine wiles hard at work; every day when recess was over we had to line up in height order, boys on one side, girls on the other and the boys would pass us as they went into the classroom. That's when I would make my move.

Now, I need to take a minute here to tell you, I didn't have a move as such, but Ricky made my tummy feel funny and my face feel hot. Something had to be done! The next day when recess ended, the boys lined up on one side and the girls on the other side; I looked across the way and there was Ricky towards the end of the line. I got that funny feeling in my tummy again and the line started moving; he was walking closer to me but not looking in my direction, there was a sort of pressure, a compulsion to DO something and as he was almost in front of me, I jumped out and kissed him on the cheek!

Once I committed the act, all the adrenaline left my body; I could hear laughter and sounds of that sing-song "ooooooooooo" from the kids around me. Ricky stood in front of me for a split second, his face as red as if it had been slapped, and then he was gone. I was embarrassed; this was not what I'd planned and the rest of the day everyone whispered about what I'd done. Ricky spent the rest of the year avoiding me and left the school in the second grade.

Surprisingly enough Ricky and I ended up attending the same high school, but the magic was gone.

I met Ricky's wife at my thirty year high school reunion last year; somehow we just gravitated towards each other and hit it off immediately. Once she told me who she was, I told her my story and she laughed heartily. Ricky, now Rick, walked up as I was relating my tale; he was gracious enough to blush. Some things never change.

*name changed

Not Just Another Day

Today is SO's birthday. We're supposed to treat this as just another day which means, no cake and ice cream, no presents, and no cracked voice rendition of "Happy Birthday" (why IS that note so high anyway).

I am going to do my best to observe the edict, but it will be hard. It's really not another day, it's the day my best friend, playmate, confidant, lover, partner in crime, helpmate, and favorite person was born.

So I'll just say: I love you very much honey, and I am pretty happy that you were born.

Happy Just Another Day.

Are You Wearing Underwear?

Are you wearing underwear? Well I am, no commando here, but because I'm constantly on a journey of self discovery I couldn't help but wonder what the underwear oracle had to say about me. What? You didn't know there WAS an underwear oracle? Well there is.

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not! You're sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

The Underwear Oracle

Amazingly accurate I'd say! See what the underwear oracle has to say about you!

What's Up With The Mysterious Phone Messages?

There are some things that make me want to wail in frustration:
-The latest episode of "I Love New York 2 ",
-Blanket emails and,
-MYSTERIOUS PHONE MESSAGES!

You may be wondering what a mysterious phone message is, well allow me to illustrate;

Picture this, Las Vegas 2007...

The beautiful Menopauseprincess sits at her table, phone held to her ear, listening to her friend's outgoing voice mail message. The message concludes and her melodious voice says,

"Hi Marcy it's me, I was just calling to see if you wanted to go to the meeting with me on Friday." "Call me and let me know if you'd like to go."

Some hours go by and Marcy does return the call which MP is not home to receive. Here's Marcy's message: "Hi it's Marcy, returning your call." "Call me."

Um...what about the meeting? That information was requested but not provided; now the old game of Telephone Tag can begin. ARGH!

I am not asking for a social security number, I'm merely asking if you 'd like to go somewhere, somewhere we've more than likely discussed before. I receive a return call that might have been placed from a Free Clinic reporting results from the latest round of STD testing.

What's up with the mysterious phone messages? I always try to leave a detailed message, stating the reason for the call, even if it's just to chat; unless there's a reason I know of not to do so. If I'm calling with a specific question and you return the call and don't get me; please leave a detailed message.

When I was younger and my life was a lot less planned; those mysterious phone messages were fine; but I'm not that girl anymore!