Leave Out All The Rest

My mind has been going to interesting places recently. Maybe because I'm 50 years old, I am spending a bit more time doing life review, or maybe because the only TV commercials for my demographic are hawking funeral arrangements, laxatives and AARP membership.

At a dear friend's funeral reception recently, three women and I had a "The Big Chill" moment when we looked around the packed house and commented simultaneously, "I'd never get this many people at my funeral!" These women were in my same age range, perhaps a bit younger or older, but all were contemplating the impact they'd had on other lives.
Would they be missed? Would they be remembered? Would someone even care?

Today as I was driving home, this song came on the radio and the lyrics pierced right through the "mindless driving zone" into my conciousness. The song is called "Leave Out All The Rest" and it seemed to sum up perfectly the types of things I've been thinking... What will I leave behind?

Linkin Park, Leave Out All the Rest

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving?
When I’m done here

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don’t be afraid
I’ve taken my beating
I’ve shared what I made

I’m strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I’ve never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You’ve learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You’ve learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can’t be who you are
I can’t be who you are

If You Still Need A Halloween Costume...

You Should Be a Belly Dancer for Halloween

According to our quiz, you'd make an ideal belly dancer. Your runner up costume: Fairy

The Halloween Costume Generator

I think that I'm uniquely qualified to be a belly dancer...because I DO have a belly! That is all you need right? Right?

MP Checking In!

Hello All,

Well it's certainly been a long time since last I wrote. Many things have happened these past three months:
-my birthday
-my wedding (more on that later),
-the death of a very close friend (more on that later).

I've thought about writing here many times, and then stopped because I felt I didn't really have anything to say. It's a funny thing about blogging, at least for me, every word must be amazing, and there has to be inspiration which frankly, I've been lacking.

PLUS I've been selling on ebay, and boy that just sucks all the energy I might have had for anything else...that and my fur daughter, PD, OH YEAH, I just got married. Is that enough excuses for ya?

Because I could probably drum up more...

My Gifts At 50

As I have mentioned a couple of times before, I'm turning 50. Soon. Like, day-after-tomorrow soon.

I have not made plans for a big blowout party, or really any plans to celebrate my birthday officially. What I will be doing on Friday is what I've been doing since last Thursday---taking care of my ill mother-in-law.

My MIL had a very extensive and significant surgery recently and SO and I will be rotating weeks to care for her. While this is a challenging time because we are supposed to be planning our wedding, not to mention that 50th birthday, it feels as if it's a gift of more import to me.

My own mother and I had a complicated and sad relationship, one that left me feeling "less than" in many ways and wondering about my sensitivity and worth as a person. With SO's mother it's not like that because I'm not her daughter, there are no agendas, points to prove, or struggles for power. Though I'm her daughter-in-law, we have more of a friend relationship. We like many of the same things and share some creative tastes, and engage in raunchy girl-talk (much to SO's chagrin).

When SO and I began talking about MIL's care, I wasn't sure how well I'd do; for the reasons mentioned above. I am learning that I am much more caring than I'd thought, more capable than I'd thought, more available to be leaned on emotionally and physically than I'd thought.

While I won't be at an evening soiree' like the one I had for my 40th birthday, or dancing around in a coconut bra and grass skirt at Joe's Crab Shack like I did about six years ago, I'll be doing something equally fulfilling; receiving confirmation that I've grown into a woman that can be depended on and can think of others first; a woman who can be a friend and companion; that maybe in some small way I've paid it forward so that someone can do the same for me one day.

I know I've become a woman of value; that's a fine birthday present if you ask me.

The "Joys" Of Wedding Attire.

Today is May 31, which means that it's little more than two months until I'm a bride. Um...where do de time go?

Plans for our soiree' are still in the mental stages (translation: we haven't gotten anything concrete done yet) but I have been online the last couple of days and I've discovered Offbeat Bride dot com and DIY Bride dot com, between those two sites I've lost hours of time; and seen some great ideas.

I'm going to be the big 5-0, and while I'm a girly girl, it seems as though my tastes have changed considerably over the years; add to that the fact that I'm MENOPAUSE princess, living in LV, getting married in the summer, and prettily plus sized and you've got a real interesting situation for finding a dress.

I recently visited a bridal chain featuring a bait-and-switch bridal gown sale. I asked about the gowns that were featured in the television ads but amazingly, there didn't seem to be any left! Those ladies must have stampeded the place. I was led to a rack of gowns in my size and there were plenty of them, at least it looked that way until you realized they were the same gowns you'd just seen in white only now they're creme.

Horrid is a word that came readily to mind as I viewed the dresses, and they were over the top fussy. I whipped through yards and yards of tulle, beading, netting and lace trying to find something that warranted the trip down there.

I settled on two dresses that were comparatively simple in their styling.
The gown pictured, and another gown with a plain skirt and the current trend of strapless top. The strapless dress smashed my breasts into oblivion, which is no mean feat; in my own defense I should mention that the gown shown did not have that Carrie Bradshaw flower on it...it did have the unfortunates ribbon sash I'm afraid.

If you've never shopped for a wedding dress (which I'm sure my male readers haven't), there's a lot of construction that's involved with a dress like this. The saleswoman hurried back with a long line bustier type bra and a huge petticoat and installed me in them, then she put the dress over my head and fastened me up. She told me to stand on the raised platform outside the dressing room. I looked like a cake topper. The dress was heavy and seemed to move on its own; as I stood there in the air conditioned store, beads of sweat broke out on my face.

I said to the SALESwoman, "this is hot", she purred, "oh...it'll be alright." I thought: "look lady, this frigging thing weighs a ton, I'm menopausal with hot flashes, and I'd have to wear this creation in the middle of a Las Vegas summer, obviously my body cares not one whit for the fact that there's air conditioning, exactly HOW is it going to be "alright?"

Needless to say, I made no arrangements to get that dress. I'm leaning towards custom made.

When I was 16, my friends and I would go and try on wedding gowns for fun, then, I liked those frothy fabric confections; but I'm not that girl anymore.

I Won't Be Doing This...

...at my wedding reception!

MP's Getting Married

I'm Baaaaaaaacck!

I don't know if I'm REALLY back but I'm back right now. So, I'm getting married; this isn't new, I just haven't mentioned it before. It's getting close though (August) and I thought you might get a chuckle as I try to avoid becoming a Bridezilla.

This year is a big year for me; I'm getting married and I'm turning the big 5-0! That's a lot to pack in one little year. Because I don't know what I want and hate planning, my half a century birthday will have to take a back seat to the nuptials; but also because I hate planning I'll be doing some scuffling as it gets down to the wire.

This isn't my first time on the matrimonial "marry"-go-round, did it 20 years ago and didn't find it to be a state of being that agreed with me. This time, well if you've got someone who's your best friend, makes you laugh, and is ultimately concerned with your happiness then what's not to like? I'm older and wiser now, and I'm not that girl anymore.

Hey! It's Time For Another Quiz!

Hello Everyone,

I'm back with another quiz that's amazingly accurate (how DO they know so much about me?)

Feel free to take it if you want, you're killing time now anyway, right?

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

Green Card Soldiers

We've been hearing statistics regarding the war in Iraq officially for 5 years now. That sad anniversary was noted recently with many news stories and marches of protest.

Occasionally, when an in depth story is done about the life and death of a soldier; that soldier will be an immigrant and not a citizen. Many people myself included, wondered how a person not a citizen of this country can be in the military, but the answer is they can. From Der Spiegel (The Mirror) Online International: "In July 2002, US President George W. Bush issued an executive order to expand existing legislation to offer a fast track to citizenship to foreigners who agree to fight for the US Armed Forces. About 8,000 non-Americans have joined the US military every year since then". There is even a name that has been coined to describe this portion of our armed forces: "Green Card Soldiers".

As I was in the post office today my eyes fell on a brightly colored brochure on the counter. The brochure appealed to "Men, 18 through 25, Do The Right Thing. Register. It's Quick - It's Easy - It's The Law". Hmmm....well clearly I wasn't the target audience for this advertising, but I wanted to know what it said. I picked it up and began to read, when I got to the "Who Must Register" section I was just perplexed. "Male U.S. citizens, documented and undocumented, residing in the U.S. and its territories must register if they are between 18 and 25".

I wondered how that happened. Aren't undocumented people otherwise known as Illegal immigrants? Assuming the degree of fear and tension associated with that status is someone really going to announce that status for the purpose of registering for the draft? I just don't know.

One thing I do know: that if someone chooses to risk their lives for this country no matter their country of origin, then I am deeply respectful of and grateful to them for that.

Training For Goodbye...Tobi Knight

A couple of days ago I discovered that a friend of mine had died. It was a strange occurrence to be sure, she had been on my mind strongly for a couple of days, it seemed I heard her voice in my head. I had a fleeting thought that she was dead, but "reality" convinced me to put that thought to the side; I had no concrete reason to believe such a thing.

I sent her an email which bounced back, I called both cell and home numbers for her, they were disconnected; basically all I needed was confirmation at this point. I "Googled" her... and brought up her obituary.

I wasn't really shocked, but it hit me rather hard nonetheless. I had last seen her in August when she had come to Las Vegas for a surprise party for a friend. She looked totally beautiful and healthy, completely belying the fact that she had cancer. We had a great time, I drove her around town doing the tourist bit. She excitedly snapped her camera phone out of the car window at all the sights and entertained the idea of moving here.

We had lunch at the Red Rock Casino and talked about everything under the sun. Being with her was fun and easy, and even though we didn't see each other or talk often, when we did it was if no time had passed at all.

Tobi and I met through our mutual practice of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. Tobi was a woman of strong faith and whenever she had a problem, her Buddhist practice was the first place she turned to find a solution. She was charming and amusing and a great person to have as a friend, and it goes without saying, but I will, that I will miss her.

The obituary I read said that Tobi had been "fighting cancer and lost her battle". I don't think she lost anything, Tobi died on December 26th, the day after Christmas, in her sleep. In our practice we speak of a "good death"and it seems that is what Tobi had.

Goodbye my dear friend, thank you for all of things you taught me and the great times we had. I'll be chanting for you, Nam myoho renge kyo.

The Real Reason MP Has Been MIA

PD has been logging a lot of computer time as you can see.

Sorry I've been away!

Fashion Schools

Is your life incomplete without checking out the latest fashions in "Vogue". "In Style" or "W"? Do you have New York Fashion Week blocked off on your calendar? Is it unthinkable to miss an episode of Project Runway? Do you live for fashion?

Certainly you know that New York is one of the centers for fashion, and if you’ve been thinking about going to fashion school in new york then you need to go to fashion-school-finder.com. What a great site, not only do they have information about new york fashion schools, they have information on careers in fashion, fashion schools in other parts of the nation, fashion articles, (yes there’s one about Project Runway) degree programs, you name it.

For all the information you need on fashion schools in new york, check out fashion-school-finder.com.

TV Spawned in Hell: Moment Of Truth

If ever there was a TV show spawned in hell it's got to be the Fox Show, Moment of Truth. Have you ever cheated on your spouse? Would you embezzle money if you knew you'd not get caught? Have you fantasized about your next door neighbor? Is there some secret you have that's so bad that you've never told it? Would you like to tell it on national television for $10,000? How about $25,000? Well, how about $500,000?

These types of questions and worse, are the kinds of things that are asked on this "hit" show. I watched the first episode and it was the most painful thing I'd ever seen. When the male personal trainer answered the question that he didn't want children because he wasn't sure he would be with his wife for the rest of his life with a "true", I wanted to find a rock for her to crawl under.

I've watched two other episodes of this show though there have been more than two shows filmed. The thing is, most of the time I can't get past the distaste of it. This show brings out the very worst in us; who would come on the air and tell the most painful, damaging, formerly secret elements of their life for money and more importantly who would watch ?

On a subsequent episode, a woman answered questions like: "do you think I am the person you should have married?"(asked by an ex-boyfriend), and "have you had sex with anyone other than your husband since you've been married?" with a "true". The look on the husband's face when hearing the answers to these questions let us know he was totally surprised and saddened. The husband was a law enforcement officer, a very macho vocation, I can just imagine the humiliation he'll endure. Why do that to someone?

Interestingly enough, the question, "do you think you're a good person?" which she answered with a "true" was determined in fact to be false, so she ended up with no money, but lots of explaining to do.

One recent episode I watched was very interesting: it featured a chef who'd been married 20 years, both his daughters, his wife, and his mother were in the audience. The family got to hear that dad watched porn behind his wife's back, they also got to hear he wouldn't cheat on his wife even if wouldn't get caught and he didn't flirt with other women because ever since he first saw his wife she was the only woman for him.

The chef ended up stopping the show early with whatever money he'd won at that point. He stopped early because his family wanted him to, and he felt they were more important than any point he might have needed to prove. In my opinion, they should have given THIS MAN the the grand prize, but I guess that wouldn't have made great television.

She's Living The Dream

We spoil PD, there's no two ways about it. We try not to disturb HER when we change positions in bed, we cuddle her like a baby, sometimes she insists that we both go with her at potty time, we're very careful about what we feed her...you get the drift.


We've been taking her on rides to get her past being carsick and that's worked well. She'll stand on my legs and look out the window and if someone pays her attention, well then she really turns on the charm.

Perhaps we shelter her too much, perhaps in her doggie dreams she's running through tall grass, unfettered by her parents telling her not to jump, to be careful, to stop pulling on the leash. Yes, that's probably what she was thinking , that we shelter her too much, as she jumped out of the car and took off in a crowded parking lot today.

SO took ofter after PD yelling her name and I hopped in the car trying to head her off at the pass. You have no idea the speed that little dog can get up to; her legs were practically parallel to her body! We finally got her and put her back in the car, curtailing all the fun activities we had planned for her. SO and I were just ready to go home.

This evening as PD was having one of her many naps, making those twitchy, running like motions she makes SO said: "she's probably dreaming of running, like in the parking lot", I said: "yeah, she's living the dream".

It's Not A Party If All My Friends Aren't Welcome!

My dear friend Anonymous Boxer gave a fabulous blog party a couple of months back and invited all her cool friends. I was honored to be one of said friends, and having never been to a blog party before I didn't know what to expect. FUN! The darn thing went on for a couple of days and while I only was able to attend a small bit of it, I had a blast!

So, AB has set the bar rather high as far as my expectations and while I was blog hopping this evening I came across a blog advertising a big annual blog party. I thought: "what fun, if it's anything like AB's party, should be a good time". As I was reading how the party would be conducted, I got half way down the page and saw no men would be allowed. Huh? Why not, and how do you prevent them from participating?

I think the majority of my readers might be women, but I've got some great male friends, like Bobby, Nick and Herb Urban. I see no good reason why they shouldn't be able to add their wit and humor to a blog party, and the fact that they wouldn't be made me not want to participate. I don't know if these guys had even heard of the party; I stumbled across it myself, but that's not really the point. It's the principle of the thing!

Maybe I'm just getting overly sentimental as I become a woman "of a certain age", but if my friends aren't welcome...well honey, I'm not that girl anymore.

The Power Of Pretty-Part 2

The girl was over 6 ft. tall, though whether it was the 5 in. heels she was wearing or the long, wild, streaked, "just F'd" hair that contributed more to her height, I couldn't say.

The girl wasn't wearing anything particularly revealing: tight jeans, but not so tight you'd wonder about her ability to breath, and a black animal print halter. No, it was the over all effect; the hair, lots of makeup, the heels, just that slight whiff of "dirty girl" that rendered every male in the gas station this afternoon speechless.

Her new, black, Jeep was on the other side of the pump island and we both had to go into the station. She was ahead of me and I had the opportunity to notice both the girl and the effect she had on the men. Her walk was quick, the heels clicking on the cement, her head down, surrounded by a curtain of hair. I recognized the walk, it said: "notice me, but I'm not going to notice you".

I recognized that walk because it was exactly my walk in my twenties. It's the walk of a girl who knows she has the power of pretty but clearly doesn't know what to do with it or what it can do to you. It's the walk of a girl who constructed her appearance to be noticed because she's looking for something, but she's unclear what that something is.

As she began to pump her gas she made eye contact with me and gave me a little half smile.

I know I was the only person in that station she made eye contact with. I was no threat to her. I'm not that girl anymore.

AxcessPoints

Some years back my best friend, Sonya, gave all her friends and family a homemade Survival Manual for Christmas. The year was 1999, and people weren’t sure what the ramifications of Y2K would be.

Sonya’s manual for emergency preparedness was about three inches thick and pretty complete; it gave instructions on what to do in case of a fire, supplies to have on hand, how to seal the windows of your home, and many other possible scenarios.

I don’t know if any of us really appreciated the effort that went into the compilation of the manual, and certainly we didn’t “get” the sentiment; why would we need something like that? As the year 2000 dawned with no repercussions, Sonya looked a bit like Chicken Little yelling, “the sky is falling”.

I’m sorry to say I don’t know where Sonya’s manual is anymore, because after the Hurricanes, Katrina and Rita, I completely “get” the need for an emergency preparedness plan. I have discovered a wonderful website called AxcessPoints that would make Sonya happy.

AxcessPoints is a website that’s like a one-stop emergency preparedness center. One of the really useful elements is a tool to use to formulate an emergency plan. The tool walks you through step by step and your plan can be completed in as little as 20 minutes or, if you’d like to take more time, you can come back and fill in information at your convenience. AxcessPoints allows you to store the information you’d need in the event of an emergency safely in one location online and there’s even a tool to decide what you need to include in your emergency kit.

www.axcesspoints.com is really the total package; it can go a long way towards easing your mind to know that you have a plan in place should a disaster come your way. With the free 30-day trial they offer, there's really no reason not to give it a try.

Is It Because I'm Sick?

In my previous post I wrote about being sick. I know for the past week I've not looked my best, red eyes, red nose, hair all over, living in sweats; but must I be punished even further?

Yes, I will admit that I spend much of my time in ballet flats, but even on my funkiest days I don’t wear Big Black Boots! Where is the style, the prettiness? Do you think it’s because I’m still sick? This just makes me feel worse...

You Are Big Black Boots!

You can be best described as: attitude You've got lots of it - and you love to give it A guy has to be pretty gusty to hit on you But if he's your type, you'll warm up... a little

What Kind Of Women's Shoe Are You?

Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired!

The past week has kind of been a blur for me, I've been down with a really nasty cold that has some hellafied staying power! What's worse is SO came down with it a couple of days after I did so there was no one to baby, um I mean, take care of me. The only one healthy in this house is PD, and she's not so good at making soup or dispensing medicine. She is very good at cuddling close and looking worried--poor pup.

So yesterday I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I pulled myself up by my hacking bootstraps and with the help of OTC meds and megadoses of vitamin C, SO and I walked PD and went to the store, I did laundry and dishes, and I think that helped. Today SO is worse, I think I'm on the mend. I don't know how much attitude has to do with it but at least there's clean clothes and dishes!

A Perfect Love

It was love at first sight. We were destined to be together we two, a more perfect love has never been known; a love without judgment or recrimination, complete and fulfilling. My love for shiny things.

My nine-year-old fingers tore through the brightly colored birthday paper to reveal the small box with two small Gold Lockets inside, a round locket and a heart locket; from that moment I was in love. I picked up the heart shaped locket and ran my index finger over the surface; it was smooth, and the light bounced off of it into my eyes and hypnotized me.

Over the years I've happily owned many pieces of gold jewelry. In recent years my tastes have changed and I find myself being attracted to silver. I have discovered a site that will personalize your gold and silver jewelry called www.picturesongold.com. Picturesongold.com can actually laser photos into the locket for you which is great, no more pictures falling out! I have a couple of lovely Silver Lockets that I can put PD and SO in!

What Kind Of Husband Will Gary Coleman Make?

Last week the news broke that Gary Coleman was secretly married, and had been since August 2007 to 22-year-old Shannon Price. At the risk of using the obvious quip: "watchu talkin 'bout?" I know that there's a lid for every pot, but I had a hard time wrapping my mind around this.

I've heard news stories and seen reality shows with Gary Coleman featured and my impression has been that he's an unrelentingly bitter and angry man. The Cashcall commercials I've seen him in had a whiff of desperation that just made me sad for him. And while I don't deny Coleman may have gotten a few hard knocks in life but really, who hasn't? As Don Henley sings in, "The Heart Of The Matter", "you keep carrying that anger, it'll each you up inside baby".

The thing I really keep wondering about is: what kind of husband will Gary Coleman make? Coleman's new bride sells his clothing and other items on ebay and they claim that they kept their marriage secret because Shannon didn't want to be known as "Gary Coleman's wife". Whoa! Isn't that what most new brides DO want, to be known as the wife of the man they love? Gary says he "wouldn't want that in a million years" and hopes she becomes famous for selling on ebay. Watching these two on Inside Edition was one of the most painful things I've seen since the Mike Tyson/Robin Givens interview some years back with Barbara Walters.

Still, the first year of marriage is a tough one for lots of people and maybe they'll make it. I'd like to see a Gary with the albatross of anger lifted from his shoulders.

That would be something to talk about Willis.

Important Work

How old were you when you knew what you wanted to do with your life? I don’t mean that “what I want to be when I grow up” sort of thing, but really knew the path you were to take?

When I was in grade school, I went to school with a boy named Patrick*. Patrick was from a family of eight siblings, a good Catholic family, in mass every Sunday; all the kids and the parents. Mom stayed at home to raise the children, dad went to work every day. The kids were all close to their parents, but Patrick was certain the sun rose and set with his father. Patrick wanted to be just like his father, and Patrick’s father was a plumber.

I remember Patrick talking about sometimes going to work on the weekends with his father. He was the only one of the boys who actually wanted to go. Patrick’s dad would let him carry his toolbox and hand him whichever tool was needed for that particular job. He said his father told him being a plumber was “important work” and it takes a special man to do it (hey these were the 60’s), you have to take Plumbing Courses and work with another plumber who can “teach you the ropes”. The prospect excited him, I thought it sounded gross. I was a girly-girl who didn’t even like the thought of getting dirty.

Patrick did grow up to be a plumber, not just any plumber though, he owns his own company and it is consistently voted number one in the city in which he lives. I think his father would be very proud of the important work his son is doing.

More on Muffin Tops...

Yesterday, I wrote about muffin tops, the flesh that can be the unfortunate side effect of wearing low rise jeans. I'm back, with more on muffin tops.

I was on You Tube yesterday and I found these two videos that were just too wonderful not to share with you. The first video is all about true love in my opinion; the second video is a perfect illustration of Andy Warhol's paraphrase: "In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes".

The future is here. Enjoy!

Mom Jeans And Muffin Tops

Do you remember hearing a statistic that alleged that 40% of American women are size 14 and larger? I certainly remember hearing that statistic and it came as no surprise to me. A mere look around on city streets can give you that information.

Most women do not have bodies like the fashion models on the runways, they have "real woman" bodies, they have bodies like the women in the Dove commercials I believe. I am one of those women, the 40%. I have been voluptuous, curvy, chunky, plump, big-boned, plus-sized, whatever euphemism you want. I have always had T&A and a pear shaped figure that masquerades as hourglass.

I have been a proud wearer of "mom jeans" for years, only I didn't know it. I first heard this unflattering connotation only 3-4 months ago while listening to the radio. The "on air personalities" were describing "mom jeans", the high waist is what really hit a nerve. It seems that lower waisted jeans are now the trend, because the higher waisted jeans flatten out your butt. Let me tell you, ain't nothing flattening this butt! Has no one noticed that when you are fuller figured (forgot to add that label to the list) if your jeans are low you risk that other fashion faux pas: the muffin top? Let's not forget to mention, you have to wear exceptionally long tops to avoid looking as if your next job will be that of a plumber.

Listen up Stacy London, or those two British magpies that Oprah enjoys having on her show, you can't have it both ways; though I don't think I'd take fashion advice from people who'd grab parts of my body like they're checking a rump roast at the grocery. Low jeans = butt cleavage and or flesh hanging over the tops of the jeans. Oh one more thing fashion mavens, this style of jean was popular for everyone in the 80's and 90's. We've all seen how fashion recycles so don't blame me when you're going to a thrift store to find this style when it's resurrected.

I used to listen to every hoo-hoo who allegedly knew what I should wear without even seeing me, but I'm not that girl anymore!

The Niche Has Found Me!

In August of 2007 I was a nubile blogging virgin, wide-eyed and full of questions. I wrestled with things like, how do I make a link? What is technorati? How do I add a picture to my posts? And most importantly, how do I decide what my niche is?

My friend Bobby Revelle is an ethical blogger and always willing to help new bloggers, I asked him how I determine what my niche is, he said that it would sort of happen organically, that the niche would find me. Well, I am happy to say the niche has found me, my niche is: Personal, Want To Make Money.

If you're confused about this niche don't be, because it has been around for a while. You're on a blog in this niche when you're reading about a dog or cat and there's Adsense or some other click ad program on the blog. You're on a blog in this niche when you're reading about how the kids are sick or the job sucks, or "we moved into our new house today" and in between those posts there are paid postings.

So if you find yourself on a Personal, Want To Make Money blog, be kind...we've got to pay for our dogs, cats, and new houses!

The Secret Scratch Off Message For Today

Hello!

I have no quiz for you today, but I wanted to send you a secret message visible only to you, use the handy coin provided and view my personal message to you. For your eyes only!



Create your own Scratch Ticket

Domain Registration

The scene goes something like this: you’re a sassy, sexy, Aussie who’s been blogging for awhile on a free site and that’s been okay, but it bothers you that your web address is: http://coolperson.freesite.com because it just doesn’t describe who you are, and you’re ready for the next level.

You long for a web address that’s more descriptive, more you, something that doesn’t bear any similarity to what some clueless schmo is doing with their http://cluelessschmo.freesite.com. You need to register a domain name!

The fine folks over at paylessdomains.com.au will come to your rescue. Talk about your one stop shopping; whether you need help choosing a domain name, or you've got the name and just need domain registration, paylessdomains.com.au can take care of your needs. The site is very user friendly and can walk you through each step of the process; they can even help you build an online store if you decide you want to sell products, plus registration is free so what are you waiting for?

Head over to paylessdomains.com.au, you'll be www.imsocooliscaremyself.com in no time!

I'm Your Friend...Now What?

When I was in high school I had many friends. In the nostalgia of my memory I was a gregarious kid, as non-judgemental as a teenager is capable of being; I had friends in many different cliques though I wasn't a member of those cliques myself.

My high school years have long since passed; now there are many ways of encountering and developing friendships with others. One way of developing "friendships" is online through social networking sites like Blog Catalog.

Friendships online are completely unlike friendships in the real world; don't get me wrong, online friendships can be very close but you're not in the presence of the other person which makes them not quite as good. Blog Catalog and social networking sites are a somewhat different animal because ANYBODY can decide you're their friend.

I frequently receive emails in my inbox that are from Blog Catalog that go so something like this: Shazzbat has added you as a friend! Who is Shazzbat? Well, Shazzbat is someone who saw my icon on the front page of Blog Catalog and decided to make me a friend. It is very possible that Shazzbat has never even read my blog. I visit my new friend, Shazzbat's, blog and right on the home page are a slew of racial jokes and pictures; my attention is drawn to the African-American lynch jokes....hmm...I don't think Shazzbat is any friend of mine!

The above is an actual experience though Shazzbats's name was changed. Shazzbat is probably not someone who'd be interested in being friends with me in real life, but on Blog Catalog any old body can tag you as their friend. I don't think I like that, I still like the idea of choosing my own friends.

Oooooooo, Rub Me Right There!

What are you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter right now!

My SO has often told me that my shoulders are like a rock. When someone touches my shoulders instead of soft pliable skin there is a tough, unyielding surface.

I am aware that I carry a lot of tension in my shoulders and I don’t particularly like having my shoulders touched because it hurts. I have had the occasional good massage, one particularly comes to mind at one of those pampering salons; I could have just drifted off to sleep afterwards.

Unfortunately, I’ve had more bad massages than good; some of which I’ve paid my hard earned money for. If I had one of those amazing massage chairs like they sell at Human Touch well, I might just be in heaven. Human Touch makes robotic massage chairs that look just like comfy easy chairs. You can control the massage technique, strength of the massage, and body part you'd like to have done-the chair will even do your feet! I like the idea of all that control at my fingertips.

Go over to www.humantouch.com and take a look at massage chairs guaranteed to have you thinking: “Oooooooo, rub me right there!

If You Invent This, You're A Guaranteed Millionaire!

It's hard to believe that it's only been three months since we got PD; it seems as if we've always had her.

There once was a time when I was able to spread my limbs freely in bed at night without a 22lb. weight impeding my movement but I'm not that girl anymore.

One of the things that people are most concerned with is money; not enough money, mostly. I have often heard that the surest way to become rich is to find a need and fill it, and I believe that to be true.

There is a need for something; a product that does not exist but is needed most desperately. I know if you invent this, you're a guaranteed millionaire or a multi-millionaire! Won't someone please invent something that keeps animal hair off clothing, furniture and carpets!

Now, PD is not an exceptionally long-haired dog, but it seems as if every blanket, sheet, piece of clothing and furniture has 2 inch long black and white hairs. I've purchased those tape roller things and (I swear I'm personally supporting those companies) they hardly seem equal to the task. I roll and roll and go through strip after strip, still I always miss a spot; which always shows up in broad daylight. Trust me if you're dressed ultra casually, loads of animal hair makes you look as if you just got up from Skid Row.

A pretty thorough search on the internet has shown me that there is absolutely nothing that deals successfully with the extra animal hair problem, but it's a problem many people have. So... can someone, anyone please make a product that can help? I promise I'll be your first customer

I'm Bettie Page, Pleased To Meet You!

I'm back with another of those oh-so-accurate quizzes. For my male readers, you could try getting in touch with your feminine side for this quiz...or let your wife take it.

You Are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Carinsurancerates.com

It’s amazing all of the things that need to be taken into account when moving; it’s no wonder that it’s among the five most stressful things you can do, right up there with death and divorce.

Certainly one of the things that you’ve got to consider is whether or not there will be a change in your car insurance rates. And while it may not be fair, a small move into a different zip code can make a major difference in the amount of money you’ll pay in premiums and deductibles.

Shopping around for auto insurance rates can be equally nerve-wracking. If you’re anything like me you tend to put that particular chore off until the last possible minute after you’ve completed the really important stuff like organizing your sock drawer. If you find yourself in a bind like this you should visit carinsurancerates.com.

Carinsurancerates.com allows you to shop for rates and compare policies to choose the policy that suits your needs. Now, if you’re on the other end of the spectrum and like to get a general idea of the how much a car will be to insure before you buy it; there’s information available about the most and least expensive car to insure, as well as the most stolen and least stolen cars-that’s information that’s useful!

So if you need to shop for online car insurance definitely give www.carinsurancerates.com a try!

Benazir Bhutto - Rest In Peace, Pinky

December 27, 2007, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. I was saddened by the news, even though I don’t personally have much knowledge of the woman or the politics and country for which she gave her life.

I remember the first time I became aware of Benazir Bhutto; I had read an article in a magazine, the name of which escapes me now, written by a Harvard classmate of Bhutto’s. The classmate remembered how everyone called her “Pinky”, what a sweet and sheltered girl she was.

Something about this article struck me and stuck with me; whenever I would hear Benazir Bhutto’s name over the years this article would always be my reference point. Bhutto was not much older than I and in my imagination she shared some of the qualities that most girls do in college; young, somewhat innocent, still years away from what would be truly life changing experiences.

I don’t know if anyone really knows why he or she is impacted by the death of a person they’ve never met. Millions cried for Princess Diana though she wasn’t a close friend or family member; if I had to speculate on the reason I’d say it’s because people saw some aspect of themselves in her, so that when she died it was like losing a piece of themselves.

I again found myself reading an article about Benazir Bhutto shortly before her assassination, this one also written by a former classmate. The writer wrote about Benazir’s troubled marriage, her aging mother who was ill with Alzheimer’s and whom Bhutto took care of, about Bhutto’s loneliness and her children. I realized that I saw aspects of myself in Bhutto; I too had been very lonely in my lifetime and had entered into unfortunate relationships for what seemed like good reasons at the time.

I think the loneliness is what resonated most for me. Bhutto was a woman who would never really be able to live her life because her life was meant for so much more. She could never have the luxury of selfishness, she must be concerned with the needs of her people at all times; it seemed like such a weight…and I guess it was; one that she gave her life for.

Rest in peace Pinky.

World's Shortest Personality Test

Hello Everyone!

For all my friends reading from work, and everyone else, here's one of my little quizzes for you.

See my results? I just can't get over how accurate these things are. :)

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Savebuckets. You Want To Save Money Right?

Do you have a friend who always seems to know where the bargains are? Does this friend share information with you about sales and discount stores or are they closed mouthed, keeping all the goodies for themselves?

Well, now you can have information about the best prices at your fingertips with www.savebuckets.com. This site is great; whether you’re searching for laptops, clothing, jewelry, sporting equipment, you name it; this site should be your first stop to check prices.

Savebucket.com has over a million products for you to search, you can search by category and compare prices; and they have a fabulous feature that will email you when the product you want becomes available at the price you want to pay.

You can choose to share the information about savebucket.com with your bargain minded friend, or you can just keep knowledge of this great site to yourself…but that would be selfish, wouldn’t it?

The Coin Purse

There are some things that really mark the beginning of the slide down the cliff of aging: complaining about music being too loud, punctuating movements such as lifting or rising from a squat with groans and grunts, and the use of the coin purse.

You’ve seen the coin purse before, it’s ridiculously small, made in a strange shape, and an older person at the grocery store in front of you is usually using it…when you’re in a hurry.

The coin purse is not an accessory that is made for expedience; coins are thrown into it and land in such a way that getting the exact coin you need at the time you need it is impossible. The only difference between the use of the coin purse and carrying coins in a plastic sandwich bag is the coin purse is sturdier. I am actually surprised these things are still being manufactured because carrying cash and change is so last year.

I will tell you that I have never purchased a coin purse, my good friend Tricia gave it to me. Tricia gave me a set of purses 15 years ago, there were four of them, the two largest were perfect for travel size makeup bags, the next size was an odd size; too small for makeup but too large for anything else, and the last one was…a coin purse.

I disdained the coin purse in fact, on several occasions, I very nearly threw it away but something stopped me every time. The coin purse appeared many times over the years, always in strange locations like bathroom drawers or shoeboxes in a closet; it was as if it was mocking me saying: “silly young woman you will, one day, bow to me.” “Resistance is futile!”

Okay, I may have gotten carried away with the Star Trek reference, but you get my meaning don’t you?

One day I was very frustrated about all the change swimming at the bottom of my purse; the wallet I was using didn’t have an area for coins. I was faced with the quandary of what to do about my dilemma when my mind offered up the siren song: “you could use the change purse Tricia gave you”. I pondered the suggestion and I knew right where the coin purse was located, under the bathroom sink; this time when I thought of using it, it didn’t seem so bad. ZAP! Just like that, I was absorbed into the old folk collective of coin purse users.

Resistance really was futile, when it comes to the disdain of coin purses; I’m not that girl anymore.

She Is A Supermodel!

This is in response to a post over on Rebel’s blog entitled “The cat knows what the cat knows”.

PD says that the cat may know what the cat may know but here’s what PD knows: after some quality time with a rawhide bone she’s not interested in having a photo taken showing her “bone boogers”.

She is after all, a supermodel!

I'm Not Qualitfied To Read My Blog

I ran across this little rating that determines the level needed to read my blog. I promise I didn't pay anyone to get this rating, but unlike the grading system this widget doesn't tell you why you received the rating. I'm not a genius but I guess I can write things only a genius could understand?

Thank goodness you guys are all geniuses!

Help With Your New Year's Resolutions.

Weeeeelllll…today is January 7, 2008; we’re a week into the new year and how are those resolutions going? I used to make resolutions faithfully every year; the amount of time I stuck to them would become less and less and I realized I wasn’t quite so resolved after all.

Maybe you’re not like me, maybe you’re already full steam ahead with losing that first ten pounds, putting away the cancer sticks for good, or becoming more organized; but if you are like me, those resolutions have been toast for about five days now.

I need something that’s going to get past the “here we go again” comments that come up in my brain when I want to make a change in my behavior, that’s why self hypnosis has always worked well for me. I've discovered this wonderful site called www.instant-hypnosis.com that is just what I'm looking for.

This site has over 300 professionally produced hypnosis sessions that you can download immediately; whatever you can think of that you'd like to change is available right there! If you're a more slow and steady personality who doesn't prefer to download immediately, there are hypnosis courses available that can be delivered to your e-mail over a number of weeks.

If you are ready to give yourself another chance, (and who doesn't deserve another chance?) get some help with your new year's resolutions and go check out www.instant-hypnosis.com. Go, ahead, go now!

The Best Blog You May Not Be Reading But Really Should Be!

This is the logo for the blog, Can You Identify Me?, the best blog you may not be reading but really should be. Can You Identify Me? is a blog that seeks to help identify some of the individuals whose bodies remain unclaimed because their identities cannot be established.

As you read the various entries, you're given the details that surround the discovery of each person; what they may have been wearing, where they were found, identifying elements like tattoos or extensive expensive dental work. The author only requests that if you know, or think you know something that can help, you contact the organization identified in the post, that's it. Oh, one other thing; each person in the post is given a name, an identity that will be their's until their actual identity is established.

This is not your usual blog of course and that's okay. It is written with a compassion and sincerity that might have been absent from the lives of the persons being described. Do please take some time and visit the blog; everyone deserves an identity.

A Light For The Darkness

Happy New Year everyone! The holidays are over and I'm actually happy about that...sorry to sound like Scrooge but all that obligatory gift giving is not my cup of tea.

Of course there was the pressure to get the right gift for the right person (which I'm not immune to despite my gift giving"theory") and it made me remember a couple of Christmases ago and the gift we got for SO's parents.

The "parentals" had just moved from a smallish condo to a beautiful, one-story home with some minor landscaping. Mother-in-law is a natural gardener and added more trees and plants that made the exterior areas even more lush. She really has a green thumb and while she doesn't know names of plants and such, she knows what she likes and the general look she's going for. She has all sorts of flowering plants and vines along the entry walkway and seems to prefer a sort of overgrown wild look.

SO and I visited after they moved in and were a bit more settled. We chatted, had dinner and played games, then it was time to leave. As we were on our way to our car we noticed it was exceptionally dark on the walkway. I mean it was hurt-yourself-and-sue dark, and we thought: uh-oh, they need a light for the darkness!

Christmas was coming so we checked into some landscape lighting low voltage lamps for the walkway. We were looking for something that was energy efficient, would provide the necessary lighting for the walkway and the surrounding areas of the home that were also poorly lit, would provide a deterrent for anyone with a bit of mischief on their mind, and could also add value to their home.

I'm delighted to say we were able to find exactly the fixtures that we needed. There was the added bonus that the lighting not only did not detract from mother-in-law's flower jungle, but seemed to add to the effect. If only they were that easy to buy for every year!

With A Little Study, I've Raised My Grade!

Well, I've had my little nose to the grindstone, blogging away, studying to raise my grade from C-list blogger and finally:

The further away I am from Kathy Griffin the better!